Oh My, I Hate My Job

Expectations. I have them.  You have them. The boss has them. Your coworkers have them. Clients and competitors have them.

You can’t get away from them, but is it me, or are they squeezing every fluid ounce of fun and peace from most days on the job?  It could be just me…I doubt it.

If it’s such a problem, how can you deal with it? What causes it? What sets expectations up? What environment allows expectations to grow? What type of thinking perpetuates it? When is it appropriate and effective? When is it counterproductive, toxic or destructive?

Before we can even delve into the mess that is expectations, I think finding a good definition of what we mean by expectations, first.  The goal is to find a definition that fits best with the common work reality…whatever the heck that means!

Here’s what I’ve found.

• anticipating with confidence of fulfillment
• the feeling that something is about to happen
• eager anticipation
• (usually plural) something looked forward to, whether feared or hoped for

Ehhh, these are okay, they don’t have the punch I’m looking for, how about this one…

• belief about (or mental picture of) the future

Spot. On.

Okay, let’s delve into the first part of the definition, belief.

Whenever beliefs come into the picture strong emotions are never far behind because beliefs are thoughts, concepts, mental pictures with emotion glommed on.

So when an expectation is not met, when the future shows up and it does not look like or feel like the image you’ve carried around with you in your head…well then, it directly goes against a belief.  Cue unbalanced emoting.

So.  Expectations.  Beliefs.  Images of the future. Unbalanced emoting.  And…disappointment.

Okay.  Let’s test it.  Do these make sense?

I hate my job because of unreal beliefs.

• Well, I can certainly see that with a boss, coworkers, and clients.

I hate my job because of unreal images of the future.

• Yep, that works, though I don’t have access to anyone’s imagery, I can look at my own life, history and experience and say it it is highly probable.

I hate my job because of unbalanced emotions.

• Wow, that works for me, my boss, my coworkers, my boss, clients, and…oh yeah, my boss.

I hate my job because of disappointment.

• Wow, that carries the unreal expectations to a logical conclusion.  Whether I’m disappointed with my firm, my boss, or my coworkers or they feel the same about me.

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