Oh My, I Hate My Job

Conversation on the “Should” Head Game

Logan:  I hate my job.  I should be farther along.  I should be more successful.  I should not be here.

Chase: Three “shoulds” and a “hate”, not bad for a sentence completely wrapped in fantasy.

Logan: Wrapped in fantasy?  It’s a fact!

Chase:  So you’re saying where you “should” be is a fact?  Show me this should?  Where is this should?

Logan:  Well I should have more pay for one.

Chase:  Okay, show it to me.  Where is it?

Logan: I’m just saying, I thought by now I’d be doing better.

Chase:  Well that’s different than what you said.  My point is you’re really not helping yourself with your language.  “I hate my job because…”  Those shoulds you were agonizing over?  They’re all in your head.  They do not exist.  Remember, “Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will surely trap you.”

Logan: Fine fine.  I’m just venting a bit.

Chase:  Nothing wrong with that, but take a second to think.  Is this venting doing you anything.  Is it a one off thing or are you doing it quite a bit?

Logan:  Quite a bit.

Chase:  Then you either need to take steps to rectify the situation, as in get a new job, make yourself more valuable, get more education or, or, or rejigger how you talk to yourself.  Your venting isn’t helping you.

Logan:  My shoulds don’t exist.

Chase: And they’re not helping you move in the direction you want, either.

Logan:  Yeah, I guess that’s pretty stupid of me when I think about it.

Chase:  Well, no need to tear yourself down more.  Just see them as a signal.  When you hear yourself saying “should” or “ought” on the job pay attention.  Are you sure that’s what you really want?  If so, what changes or alterations do you need to make?  And remember.  Be careful of what you say to yourself…you’re definitely listening.