A Bad Boss Doesn’t Believe in You, A Good Boss Does

Does your boss believe in you?  If you were honest, does he or she?  Before you go off on the hokum touchy feely question, think for a moment, “Do I hate my boss because he/she doesn’t believe in me?”

What does believing in someone mean?  You’d that would be the direction I’d go, but no, like a rabbit evading a fox I jink this way…What happens in you, when you believe someone believes in you?  Why do you tend to perform better?

I submit you free yourself to fully perform.  Mentally.  Emotionally.  Physically.

Part of your unconscious (or subconscious, the part of your brain that’s working even when you’re not paying attention to it) is always pinging your surroundings like active sonar to see how you are doing socially.  It’s a defense mechanism, you are a social being and human beings do very poorly alone.  When you know someone believes in you these subconscious mental resources do not have to work so hard.  Resources can flow to other more important or necessary functions, such as your conscious attention.

I Hate My Job Because of Expectations Falling Short

This recent article in the NY Times goes directly to the bane of work and happiness.  Why do you hate your job? Expectations!

Lowered Expectations – NYTimes.com.

Danes seem to know instinctively that expectations kill happiness, leaving the rest of us unhappy un-Danes to sweat it out on the “hedonic treadmill.” That’s what researchers call the tendency to constantly ratchet up our expectations, a sort of emotional inflation that devalues today’s accomplishments and robs us of all but the most fleeting contentment. If a B-plus grade made us happy last semester, it’ll take an A-minus to register the same satisfaction this semester, and so on until eventually, inevitably, we fail to reach the next bar and slip into despair.

It’s here I’d like to introduce the difference between expectations and expectancy.  It’s covered in far more detail in the ebook.

Expectation

What is an expectation, in a general sense?  A mental image imposed upon others, yourself and/or the environment taken as a cosmic command to get that image fulfilled.

Really it’s three things intermingled.  The mental image, emotion and identity.  To have an expectation you have to have some image of some future arrangement of events.  It may be as vague as a warm fuzzy feeling coming out of a meeting to something as tangible as having an extra $500 on this months paycheck. Then there are feelings you glom onto that image.  Intense desire, confidence in it occurring, anger for it not having happened last month, fear, etc…  Finally there is the big bertha, identity.

Advice: Pregnant and hate my job but I can’t leave

There’s few things as grating…or as interesting, as out of context advice.  Well, we’ve scoured the web for an interesting situation and have our take on it.  The goal, as always, first survive the job and then thrive within it.  Sometimes the only thing you need to thrive is for your boss to have a normal healthy disposition toward you.

PregnantHalf οf mу team hаѕ quit οr bееn fired, bυt I feel that I аm stuck іn mу current job аt lеаѕt until аftеr the baby іѕ born.

Thе other issue іѕ that I аm getting close tο full term and I hаνе missed several times due tο pregnancy related issues. Each time I miss work I tеll management immediately why I wаѕ gone, уеt they qυеѕtіοn mе аbουt іt repeatedly fοr days tο “verify that the absence wаѕ pregnancy related.” I feel they аrе trying tο discourage mе from missing fοr things I саn’t hеlр.?

via Pregnant and hate my job but I can’t leave? | Stress and Anxiety Information.

From the little bit of information we have, we can see that the working environment (it appears to be a call center of some sort when you read the full post) has a high turnover rate.  It probably has a high absentee rate.  As a manager one of your chief concerns is reducing those two factors.  Those are some of the largest expenses for a firm.  The cost and loss of value from a worker leaving plus the cost of finding and rehiring a work.  Also the daily value lost from an absent worker.  They also happen to be a couple of the biggest headaches for a manager.

The woman may not be one of those two types of workers (yet), but how is a manager to know?

Well she’s pregnant.

Just because a woman’s pregnant doesn’t mean she’s suddenly become virtuous and will refuse to game the system.  You can make the argument the exact opposite way, actually.

The fact of the matter is, the manager doesn’t know.  Therefore, signaling that you are not either one of these two types of people is probably your best recourse.

Explain to a manager the situation in a way the manager can understand it.  Not in the way you understand it.  When it’s about your job, it’s never just about you, but also one providing it…or at least with the ability to pull the job away from you.

Be proactive.  Have the hospital call the manager, email the manager, leave a voice mail for the manager on the day of the check up or appointment.  Heck, if you really need to be paranoid use your smartphone to take a short video of you meeting the doctor in the waiting room (with the TV on showing today’s news).

Assuming the manager is a normal person not completely corrupted by the sociopathic work environment, they will appreciate the forethought and how you’ve at least eliminated one stress and worry from their lives.  And most people, who are normal, make the life easier for those who make their lives easier.

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Want even more ways to improve your chances of surviving your job…for the cost of a cup of coffee?  Check out the $2.99 ebook Room 2 Maneuver HERE

Reactive Armor for the Professional

Louise Fletcher at Blue Sky Resumes brings up a big stressor in professional work, the client getting off the cuff feedback from someone else (with little or no experience to give the advice) questioning your work.

Checking my email one day this week, I found one that started in a way destined to make my heart sink:

“I know we finalized this resume a while ago, but I showed it to a friend and he had some comments …”

My heart doesn’t sink because of the extra work – I don’t mind that if the comments are helpful – but because I know that they probably won’t be. So I now have two choices. 1) Make changes that will be detrimental to the document I worked so hard on creating or 2) get into lengthy explanations about why my client’s friend is mistaken. (I always go for the second option because I can’t bear to do bad things to someone’s resume).

Experienced this with your work?  Maybe a good client turns into a difficult client with just one conversation with a “friend.”

What you need is the professional’s reactive armor.

Training Glasses, Blind Bosses and Mismatching

When management runs into an intractable problem often times it thinks the solution is more training.  Apparently over 80% of the time, a consultant friend in the training industry said, he finds training is the solution only 15% of the time when the problem is fully investigated and the root cause is found.

Ouch.

How can this information benefit you?

BlindHold their assessments as you would something with a 1 in 5 chance of being correct. Investigate further.

Ask yourself, what’s really getting in the way to us doing this correctly? There’s a 1 in 5 chance it’s because we don’t know what we’re doing.  That means it’s a 4 in 5 chance it’s something else.  Well, actually, the stats are a bit off there, but you know what I’m getting at.  It’s closer to 5 in 6.

And you know what, the solution is probably not obvious to you or the management.  But it may be obvious to someone who’s not in your business culture or industry.

When we, as human beings, see things occur again and again we start to tune it out.  Stop for a second.  Listen to your environment.  Is there a humming sound, a ticking, is there something fairly regular happening that you’ve tuned out?

Our brains want to find new things, unique things, and interesting things.  We become blind to the humdrum.

If that humdrum is abject stupidity, we’ll be blind to that too.

What doesn’t work or what gets in your way from working more effectively, as a person, and as a business unit may be something that’s done day in and day out.  It is part of the scenery.  You’ve tuned it out and so has the management.

Perhaps it made sense last quarter.  Perhaps last year.  Perhaps the last large business cycle, but it doesn’t make sense now.  But you’ve done it that way time after time.  It’s now policy.

Policy, half the time, is enforced blindness.

So, you either have to look at things with new eyes or you have to bring new eyes in to observe.

The trick is getting your boss to see this.  How can that be done?

It’s not an easy task.  Especially if you don’t know where the problem is yourself, and you don’t have proof.

What I recommend is point out the mismatches. Point out how the assumptions you and everyone is making is not tracking with the results you’re getting.  Do not do it from a position or an attitude of you know best.  Ask simple innocuous open ended questions.  Plant small seeds in people’s minds.

Do this is through humor.  It’s a gentle art.  Try humor along the lines of funny anecdotes and quirky observations.  This is opposed to humor putting others down, embarrassing them or making fun of some process…because, remember, someone put that process in place.  Someone bought the machine.  Someone at some point had the guts to make a decision.  Make fun of the mismatch now, not the person or even the thinking then.  If you can, make fun of yourself in the midst of it.  Effective self-deprecation releases others from a feeling of indictment.  Again, it’s a gentle art.

While you are pointing out the mismatches look into the implications and costs of the mismatches.

“We expect X and we always seem to get Q.  What is the cost of the difference between X and Q?”

“What do we have to routinely do because we’re getting Q instead of X?”

If you can gently point these out you’ll find

a) you may move closer and closer to the root problem on your own…you’ll perhaps get in the neighborhood, and…

b) your boss may start to feel the need for an investigation into a change.

Yep, it’s a slow play.  You allow your boss to come to a conclusion to act.  Hopefully the action isn’t a knee jerk “we have to train you more.”

How to Be a Frickin’ Genius in Front of a Difficult Client

Picture this.

You’ve been set up.

You’re sitting in front of your company’s most important client and he asks a question demanding a solution. The question came out of no where. You’ve not looked into this. You’ve not been asked to look into this. You don’t even know where to start.

GeniusHere’s a hint at how to look like a genius while on your feet.

  1. Use system thinking to get the scope of the problem.
  2. Identify what type of system problem you’re to handle.
  3. Framework a solution based upon the type of system problem.

Think of the problem as related to a system. What is the whole of the system? Is it a department, are you sure? Is it the firm? Is the real problem a person?

When you’ve got the scope of the problem down, now it’s time to be a frickin’ genius.

If the problem revolves around independent activity, say salesmen, then the solution most likely will involve something akin to the 80/20 rule.

If the problem involves a sequence of things, say a process, then the solution most likely will be identifying the bottleneck or constraint.

If the problem involves a cyclical process or is something that iterates again and again, then the solution will be one involving adjusting the timing of the cycles. If you’re competing perhaps you need to cycle faster than your competition. Perhaps it’s a timing issue in that one things cycle needs to sync with another. Perhaps the problem is cycling too fast, therefore you need to slow down the cycle.

Why you’ll look like a genius.

Stressful and Stressless: Expectation vs. Expectancy

Do you hate your job because it doesn’t live up to expectations?  What about your boss, does his or her expectations rule over you?  A helpful step in handling the stress of expectations is to know the difference between expectations and expectancy.  Check out the slides below.

Expectation and Expectancy

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Want to further improve your chances of surviving your job…for the cost of a cup of coffee?  Check out the $2.99 ebook Room 2 Maneuver HERE

Your Brain and Work Distractions

How to automatically become distracted at work

As per usual we here at OMIHMJ take the scientific literature and go off on our own tangent.  In this one, it’s an important ability your brain has that helps you learn as well as empathize with others.  Mirror Neurons.

Mirror Neurons in the BrainBecause mirror neurons fire both when an individual performs an action and when one watches another individual perform that same action, it’s thought this “mirroring” is the neural mechanism by which the actions, intentions and emotions of other people can be automatically understood.

via UCLA researchers make first direct recording of mirror neurons in human brain | e! Science News.

These mirror neurons may be key in how some people can empathize and connect with others.  Perhaps your bad boss is lacking in the development of this portion of his mental makeup.  I know you know a coworker who fits this bill.

But think about it.  When you see another doing something you, mentally, perform a similar action.  If you see a coworker eating a french cruller, you, mentally, do the same thing.

But what if they’re stuffing the Dunkin’ carb bomb in their feeding tube and you’re trying to write a report looming over your head?  Part of your brain in mirroring eating the donut and part is trying to focus on the report.  You’re not fully engaged.

How do you automatically become distracted? Have others perform activity in your field of vision not related to what you’re doing.

Clues to Understanding the Difficult Client

Bookshelf a difficult client clueSometimes that difficult client is very hard to read.  Well pun is intended this time because perhaps a key to unlocking them is found on their office bookshelf…the concert of books on that bookshelf.

Lauren Maynard in a post on How Social Media is Changing the Way We Read | Capture the Conversation makes a good point about books…

I continue to love paper books, because of the experience both while I read them and after I read them. A book on a shelf is a mark of what I’ve done, what I am interested in, and what I think about.

Clues!  Books are clues!  So, quickly perusing your difficult client’s shelves may say…

  • What they’ve read — what they’ve accomplished.
  • What they’re reading — what they’re trying to complete.
  • What they want others to see that they’ve read — Insight into the status they’d like in your mind and those around them.
  • What they think about.
  • What they’ve previously thought about.
  • What those they love and respect thought they should think about.
  • What others thought they would enjoy thinking about.

It’s all a dance.  Books could mean different things at different moments in different moods to the owner/displayer.  Don’t take this — or much of anything on this site — in a hard paint by the numbers kind of fashion.

Looking at the difficult client’s bookshelf from this perspective can help you surmise, it can give you a feel.  It’ll be good information that will come up later at a useful moment because you’ve spent a little time consciously thinking about it.  It will unconsciously help inform your future dealing with the client.  It will give you an intuitive edge.

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Want to further improve your chances of surviving your job…for the cost of a cup of coffee?  Check out the $2.99 ebook Room 2 Maneuver HERE

The Squeaky Wheel Syndrome: Dealing With Difficult Clients

Jonathan Goldhill, in the post How to Deal with Difficult clients identifies three types of annoyingly difficult clientss.  The Worrier, the Squeaky Wheel and the Indecisive Client.  Let’s look at the Squeaky wheal today.

Squeaky WheelThe Squeaky Wheel: This client believes the louder they whine, the more you’ll give them. They learned early on in life that by complaining they could always obtain more. They will find a way to complain about almost anything, no matter how good the job.

Do this: Let this client know early on that you run a quality company that can afford to be selective of its clients. Deliver quality work based up on an upfront agreement. Let them know that you are not motivated by a lot of inappropriate interruptions.

As with most things in business problems begin invisibly early on and show up prominently later on…at a most inconvenient time…when you’re most vulnerable to doing or saying something, relationally disruptive.

Depending on your personality and the situation, if you know the Squeaky Wheel might be the issue with a client you can say something like this early on in the relationship…

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